You Don't Need to Suffer in Silence

In these times when people are confined to their home, it can be stressful enough for the happiest family. Where there is an abusive relationship, the consequences can be terrible.

The law currently defines abusive behaviour as not just physical violence, but emotional, psychological and coercive control. Therefore, harm can be inflicted on a person who is made to feel diminished in themselves, frightened, fearful and anxious, without a hand ever being risen. Courts are working hard to understand this concept, which involves a very sophisticated form of psychological warfare and abuse.

For those of you who may be at home at the moment, and subject to this kind of behaviour, you do not have to suffer in silence. There are organisations and charities that understand these issues and work to protect those in abusive relationships. They provide an invaluable source of information and guidance.

Where there has been any form of violence or threatened violence – that constitutes a criminal crime and the police can be called and expected to take action
Where there is psychological or coercive abuse – that constitutes behaviour which could give rise to the court granting an order against the offending party, to stop them behaving in this way or to remove them from the home.

Just because our offices are physically closed does not mean that we cannot help you. We are contactable over the phone, online and can organise video conferencing so you can see who you are talking to. Furthermore, the courts are prioritising issues of violence, coercive behaviour, and safeguarding concerns relating to the children. They can still hear some cases directly, and certainly remotely.

Therefore the message is:

If you are somebody who is currently living in a home where you are subject to this kind of abuse, you do not have to suffer in silence. Contact us, and we can give you practical advice
You can contact other organisations who specialise in these behaviours and where you do not have to explain your feelings because they will be understood
We can take the appropriate legal action, if there is sufficient basis for an order to extricate or remove somebody from their home
Where matters have escalated into physical violence, you should call the police. The police are now expected to be more sensitive and alert to this kind of behaviour within the home, and to take it seriously

At the end of day, your priority must be a safe place for you to stay, either in your home, or with your children. There are limited places in refuges for the most serious of cases. Whilst we are all in lockdown, with what appears to be limited contact with the outside world, the police, courts and lawyers are still working to enforce and protect people’s basic rights. Your right is to live safely and quietly, without the fear of being coerced, insulted or hurt by any other human being.

If you want to discuss any of the aspects that this article raises, please contact our Family Team on 0345 646 0406 or fill in our online enquiry form and a member of our Team will be in touch.

You do not have to suffer in silence.

You Don’t Need to Suffer in Silence

By Lynn Cowley

Useful Organisations

Citizens Advice

Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline

Men’s Advice Line (MALE)

Safer Places, Essex

Women’s Aid